"Feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what you look like. I promise."
They say that they love you and want the best for you. They say they will be there no matter what. They say you can count on them. They lied.
Every single one of us has had indescribably horrible days where all we want to do is vent. We’ve all spoken rudely out of hurt, confusion, and heartbreak. Whether we admit it or not, we’ve all said terrible things about the people we love because we want to feel better about ourselves. We say these things to the people we think we can trust. We assume that they will listen when you have the good things to say and won’t dwell on the bad. We were wrong; nay, I was wrong. I was in a terrible and confusing situation and wanted to feel better so I vented every mean thought or comment I could think of to the people I thought I could count on. I never would have guessed that when I figured everything out and decided to make a fresh start with someone I love, the people I thought I could count on would turn their backs to me. Never would I have thought they would ignore the smile on my face or accomplishments I had made because of that person and instead only voice negativity. I understand that I have dug this grave for myself but aren’t the people that tell you they love, care, and want the best for you supposed to be there and listen when you’re digging out of said grave? Especially when you would be there if they were ever in the same spot?
I have had to deal with so much bullshit and nonsense in my everyday life lately and the person they are judging without even knowing is the only one that has been there for me. The one that drove me to my family four hours away on thanksgiving, drove back to her family and then back to pick me up after my time with my family. The one that took me to my meeting with an admissions clerk so I could go back to school. The one that has taken me to every meeting with my insurance adjuster after my car was totalled. The one that took care of my kitten when I was at work. The one that held me when I couldn’t sleep because I was in so much pain it hurt to breathe. The one that I took the time to listen to and understand and in return she did the same. The one I decided to make a fresh start with.
I’m over being let down by “friends”. I’m over being made to feel as if I’m some terrible and inconsiderate person when I know damn good and well if I am anything I am someone that gives a shit about people even if they don’t deserve it.